As I was walking down the street to work I saw a man accosting someone at the bus stop, arguing for a piece of change. not like a professional arguer, but like someone who “just wanted to go to mcdonalds and get something to eat” (read: needs a fix right now for chrissakes). And I decided then to keep on walking. He noticed me, started to ask and I cut him off saying “no, I don’t have anything”

So he called me a “douchebag” and proceeded to talk beside me, matching my ever-quickening pace, and describe his perspective. Essentially, the only people who get any respect are those who do violence. “why do people show respect to guys who rob banks or beat people up for money and not show respect to people who are just asking nicely” and “one day someone’s going to shoot up the welfare office”…

I admit, there was a discussion regarding issues of what respect may mean to him, and then he descended. Perhaps angered by my quickening pace or his inability to get some more money, he began complaining about the racial makeup of this city. As he’s getting louder (i”m walking faster), we come upon a small chinese woman. And he starts talking about “hongcouver” and <insert slur here> and <insert other slurs here>. She decided it was safer to walk on the road with the cars.

I stopped walking and said “that’s racist and this is where I get off the train, buddy.  You keep on walking, I’m not walking with you anymore” (as if I had a choice to walk with him in the first place… he was walking with me.). Oh, the rejection made him angry. Once again, I was reminded of my douchebaggery and that I was not as smart as I apparently thought I was (oh the wise man knoweth he is a fool….). He tried an argument “every nation has its assholes – <insert slur> and africans, <insert slur> and chinese people, <insert slur> and mexicans”. I shook my head and said “This language is not acceptable. This is racist and I will not participate.”

He said, “what if a <insert slur> in a <ethnic> gang shot up your family, would you say he was a <slur>??” (now, going back to his argument that violence results in respect… the answer would be no, but that wasn’t my reasoning). I held my ground and again told him I was Not Participating. Finally he walked over to our diminutive witness walking in traffic for her own safety, and he asked her for money. When she refused, he walked away complaining about slurs.

I’ve never been so relieved to have someone give me the finger and make faces at me from half a block away. He kept going in our direction but left us alone apart from the occasional shout of “<SLUR>” and “Douchebag” (what is this, grade 4???).

She and I walked together in solidarity and talked about how important it is to take a stand, to object to behaviour that promotes discrimination and violence. She told me I was brave, and it was only then I thought perhaps I had been in danger. She said she admired my bravery and that my children were lucky. I said I wished everyone would stop giving implicit consent to racism and homophobia. She said we were lucky to live in canada. I said that in some countries, men like him are given uniforms and guns.

What a way to start the day.